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Help, I Am Being Bullied

This week’s campaign included:

1) A threatening letter that I dropped off at the police station for evidence.

2) A persuasive essay for school about “getting something that you really want for your birthday that you know your parents won’t give you.” Seriously, that was the writing prompt. I was so set up.

3) A lovely poem.

4) Real tears when our friends got a puppy.

Are there support groups for mean moms? Do they meet a bar?
For more Bull:
Getting out of the Dog House»
Never Underestimate the Power of a Butt Pucker»

Yes, I am a Sell Out. I know that the Google ads are hilarious (who knew there is such a big market for dog anal glands and odor removal?), but now I am also partnering with Amazon. If you ordinarily shop with Amazon, please consider ordering through the banners on this site to support mom-mom-mom’s therapy fund. Can’t thank you enough!

Permanent link to this article: http://www.mom-mom-mom.com/2011/04/08/help-i-am-being-bullied/

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  1. Kate

    Karen, I am bringing Rosie over after school. Before Eileen gets home, open her room and her closet door- As an incentive, fill the pockets of clothing with food (anything will work) and let Rosie free in front of Eileen. I know cruel, but desperate times call for desperate.

    Also, my Aunt had to soak her bullog’s feet in epsom salts every night because the dog’s allergies were so bad. I know that this wouldn’t bother Eileen because you would be the one to do it.

    Stay strong sista!

    1. Karen

      Okay — I have Scooby Snacks in all of her pockets and a bottle of wine for the two of us. Bring Rosie over!

  2. Liz Leonard

    I would’ve gladly met you at a bar 2 years ago when we were getting our daily letters for a dog…begging, threats, tears – all the same stuff. My husband HATES dogs and I hate taking care of things (be it pets or kids) and with 4 kids within 5 years I would tell them I already HAVE 4 pets and can’t you pretend your brother (who was 2 at the time the begging began) is a hamster!!?? She said in all seriousness that he isn’t furry! Anyway after 2 years, we broke down and got a non-shedding poodle who I shave every month so she doesn’t look poodl-y and I can walk her with my head held high! The first month was a disaster….I cried a lot and one night in bed in the dark I hear my husband say, “We’ve made a terrible mistake. That’s what this is, but it isn’t to late to fix it.” I say, “You’re going to kill the dog!?” He siad not to worry about it but he can get rid of her and we’ll tell the kids something. I said no way can we do that…..the next 6 months brought a brutal diarrea problem (the dog, not me) and at about the year mark things were improving!! NOW, at 2 years old we all love her (my husband says he likes her, which is amazing!!) Don’t know if this helps your case or Eileen’s, but I had to share! BTW LOVE your blog – I’ve shared with many friends! :)

    1. Karen

      I am crying over here from laughing so hard! “You’re going to kill the dog?” Oh lordy — this story is way funnier than the post! Thank you so much for spreading the madness with your friends. I really appreciate it!

  3. beth

    We have a dog and it is seriously more work then our children. Not to mention the hair everywhere. You are welcome to borrow ours anytime.

    1. Karen

      Hmmmmm, maybe I’ll send Eileen over there!

  4. marge

    Stackers as my dad always says “kids need to grow up with a dog” Sorry but I am siding with Leeney on this one. I would get rid of the gecko, hamster & guinea pig and maybe the kids and get another Gus!

    1. Karen

      It’s so sad that our 33 years of friendship has to end like this! : )

  5. Megan

    Sorry friend, but I too think you should get a dog…It is by far one of the best decisions I have ever made. Everyone should have bought stock in Beta Fish in the past year..I have purchased so many of them that it would have soared! It is much easier caring for (and keeping alive) a dog than a fish.
    My only advice…do NOT get a puppy. I have fostered a lot of different dogs and even my kids tire of the puppies after a couple of nights. Get a rescue dog about 1 year old or so..still puppy enough and can be easily trained, but old enough that you will see it’s personality. Let’s face it… Most puppies are adorable. So are babies…but don’t you wish that you could have gotten a glimpse into their toddler years to see what you would really be dealing with?? Go Leenie, Keep the campaign going strong!!!

  6. Jennifer Ashline

    What about adopting a different kind of breed? Maybe one that doesn’t have to have it’s butt expressed (although it can happen with other dogs) or something that doesn’t have issues with the heat? I have also heard bulldogs are stubborn and potentially hard to train. Check out Almost Home Foundation or PetFinder.com online and look at all the super cute doggies available and you can ask about ones that are good with kids and already housebroken :)

  7. Mia

    Come on over we can drink and be mean moms together!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Karen

      Cheers!

  8. vicki

    Our dog is the most well behaved member of our family. Seriously. Love her. Life really would not be the same without her.

    Perhaps a breed with less health issues would better suit you guys? Petfinder.org is FULL of them. I do love the bully breeds, though, obviously, since Roxie is a boxer – a descendant of the bulldog. :) Good luck on this one, Karen!

  9. laurie

    I have to side with the dog lovers on this one. A dog will fit in perfectly with the chaos that is your life! and you will learn to love him/her(it will only take a day). I also agree with maybe not going with a bulldog–maybe you could find a partial bull dog mix at a shelter. purebreeds can have lots of health problems. if you go into it knowing there will be shoes chewed, garbage eaten and an occasional poop on the floor–there are no surprises and is that really that much different than dealing with kids? Go Eileen! you are wearing her down!

  10. Karen

    Megan, Jenny, Laurie and Vicki,
    I have to admit that she is wearing me down and you are not helping! Ugh.

    My one friend had the best suggestion: tell her instead of a dog, that we will buy her a car when she turns 16 then hope that she will forget about it!

  11. Lady Estrogen

    Hahaha… so cute. LOVE the poem.
    OK – so she’ll be like me and beg for a dog for years and get nothing but a fish or a turtle, and then when she’s 20 and moves out, the first thing she’ll do is get a dog… or two… because she was soooo deprived as a child. Ah-hem.
    x

    1. Karen

      Yeah, see, you turned out okay!

  12. A Field of Dreams

    Your daughter is one determined little cookie. I respect her determination and initiative. I love her (in a non-sort of stalkery way) I can just imagine what she is going to be like when she is a teenager.

    I love dogs as does the whole family so I would definitely advocate for Eileen and would not be much of a support to you. However, is it possible for Eileen to maybe do some volunteer work in an animal shelter particularly with the dogs? This might give her a bit of an understanding of the huge work and responsibility for pets. The smell should be enough to discourage her persistance. Or it could backfire and she would want to adopt all of them!

  13. Mark

    Karen,

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9Fyey4D5hg&feature=player_embedded

    This came through my Google Reader within the ‘Cute’ sub-directory, thought it might change your mind. You might consider a JRT (Jack Russell Terrier)…they are rather cute and smart too.

    We’ve had dogs (2); cats (4); birds (3); fish (billions); hamsters (1); gerbils (dozens); fleas (trillions), and deer (outside, hundreds of thousands, my wife hates em)….our girls are now 18 and 23, they only grow up once…SUCK IT UP!…get the dog…love your site…

    1. Karen

      Mark, Thank you for the compliment and intervention — sounds like you are a combination of Dr. Doolittle and Dr. Phil!
      (Loved the video and now have hubby and children in training for snacks.)

  14. Tara

    Tom had to write a persuasive essay at the end of 4th Grade and of course it was all about wanting a dog. The following summer you know what happened. Lulu sheds and s**ts like she’s a 150lb Bull mastiff but we love her. If ever you want to borrow her for the kids to get it out of their system, you are welcome anytime.

  15. christina

    I think any child that comes up with a campaign that clever deserves a…dog.

  16. Bob

    Get a pig. If it doesn’t work out, Kinger and I will have pork products for months.

    1. Karen

      Now that’s a great idea! MMMMM, bacon….

  17. Denelle @CaitsConcepts

    This is quite possibly one of the best things I have ever read. Second, of course, only to my 6 year old’s kindergarten writing last year for Mother’s Day where he drew a picture of me that said I was 20 years old and weighed 8 pounds. 😉

    1. Karen

      Your son already knows how to charm the ladies: compliment them on being younger and thinner!

  18. Mary Kay

    OK-just burnt dinner reading your blog-AND all the comments! Your readers are very good writers!
    Stay strong Karen. Lucy had two things on her birthday list this year…a puppy and an I-pod touch. She got the I -pod touch since the very lonely Christmas hamster is probably depressed from the neglect! I have recommended the kids start a dog walking business (thanks to Fran). Mention this to EIleen. If she can walk someone else’s dog every day for a year maybe she will be ready for a dog of her own…and it buys you a year!
    Love ya!
    MK

  1. The Real Bull » mom-mom-mom

    […] by Karen var addthis_product = 'wpp-254'; var addthis_config = {"data_track_clickback":true};Thank you so much for all of the response to our dog drama — the comments are way funnier than the original story! If you missed them, please check out the last few posts. […]

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