I know that it might seem that our family life is always full of love, laughter and laundry. Truth be told, poor Tom will do something that will get on my last possible nerve and I will temporarily lose my mind. (Ironically, this happens around the same time every month.) The meltdown includes loud sighs, eye rolling and rehashing leftover bitterness from 4 months ago. Then I force an apology out of him. If it doesn’t seem sincere enough, I start all over until I deem the Sorry worthy enough to shut me up.
Tom is not a fighter. He would rather go to bed and forget the whole thing. I remember being in total shock when we were newlyweds how he could easily walk away and shut ‘er down in the middle of a heated “discussion.”
“Dear Abby says that you should never go to bed angry!” I shrieked.
“Well, Dear Abby was never married to you!” was his response. Touché. (But seriously, how much easier would it be if every mom had a wife? I would never argue with Dear Abby because she would actually notice AND clean the pee around the toilet, all while dispensing witty comebacks.)
Fourteen years later, I still start the bickering, but try hard to shut my pie hole in front of the kids. But every once in a while, my loud mouth seeps through closed doors and the kids know what’s up. During one PMS rant, the kids overheard a stupid argument that took place in another room.
“We heard you,” scolded Eileen. “And now Aidan is afraid that you are getting divorced.”
The Bad Mom guilt sinks in, so I backtrack and attempt to comfort them with three truths.
“Dad and I will never get a divorce because:
1) We love each other very much.
2) We love our family very much and being all together means the world to us.
3) No one else would want to marry us.”
“I don’t know about that one, mom,” replies Eileen. “Dad really has a way with the ladies!”
So what do you think, ladies? Click on the links below to view his Match.com profile:
(Yes, I did run this by my significant other before posting. No, I am not craving chocolate.)
If you know anyone with a twisted sense of humor who might enjoy this site, please pass it on! Thanks~