Serves me right, getting all cocky and greedy: “If you do what you love, the money will follow!” Long story longer, I had to do some fancy web stunt work in order to run some ads on the site. I have no idea what the hell I am doing, so it took F.O.R.E.V.E.R. (Now that was another great Judy Blume book! Remember the main character Ralph the penis? My dog-earred copy of that book made the rounds throughout my Catholic grade school. Then someone trumped me and snuck in her mom’s copy of Wifey. Sex Ed at St. Ed’s!)
Okay, where was I? Now you can see why it took me so long to follow codes and cache and analytics and adsense and feedburner and plugins. (Look — there’s something shiny!)
So I get the darn blog all gussied up, hit refresh and wait for the magical Google ads to start appearing so all that cash can start rolling in. Note: I don’t choose the specific ads. Google randomly determines which ones to run by the article’s content, which I am now discovering is not a such good thing considering my story lines.
For instance, in the About section, there is the ultimate compliment about a reader peeing in her pants. Here’s what came up:
Karma Wins by a Nose (Getting biffed in the nose by my son’s melon head and reprinting Instant Karma lyrics)
Trick or Treat? (Petrified turds under the bed)
B.S. Detector (Knowing if the kids are telling the truth about being sick)
Another Cup Runneth Over (My pathetic attempt at talking to daughter about puberty)
Last, but not least, my favorite: In Sickness and in Heath (Husband’s kidney stone ordeal)
So it looks like it’s back to the birthin’ room to figure out how to run ads that my readers would appreciate: booze, shoes and pills for snooze.
Dawg, get me some ice chips, please!